So many conservative and socially sensitive among us may already be alarmed by the incresing number of single women in their 40s. In fact, they may not even be only single but with kids from previous botched relationships as well. In short, they are single mothers or single with no kids. But whichever the case, the society expects them to get married yet the single ladies now insist that having a hubby doesn’t necessarily complete them.
In a highly patrichial and socially sensitive society as Kenya, only a slight indication that a lady doesn’t do things as expected rings enough alarm bells. But can you be single and happy as a Kenyan woman? The simple answer is yes, But then the next would be, what will the society think about it?
A lot more Kenyan women now don’t prioritize marriage
Many Kenyan women are choosing to be single because of whatever they see happening in estnaged marruiages, their own their past experiences and other life priorities. Most of them were in toxic marriages. Others have dated different men and still, nothing works. Statistics indicate that six out of 10 Kenyan women are bound to be single mothers before 45 years.
In the past, there has been a notion that single people are unhappy. Unfortunately, this is not true. It is not only through relationships that people can find happiness. The other ways that people or rather women can be happy include being around positive people such as family or even reflecting on past experiences.
Being a single Kenyan woman
When a Kenyan woman chooses the path of staying single longer she attracts the extemes of societal judgenent and ridicule. Surprisingly, men don’t get a similar treatment for their single life or even being serial polygamists or serial monogamysts.
But why is this so? I will tell you. Everywhere you look, you see wives putting up with hopeless marriages. Kenyan women try their best to keep their relationships. It is as if society celebrates wives without considering their happiness. That is why when a woman decides to be single, it is seen as the lowest of lows.
The biggest accomplishment a Kenyan woman can achieve is setting her standards. She should also never settle. If relationships are not working, it is okay to be single. Be strong enough as a single woman to live a whole life without listening to naysayers.
Truths about being single
The question is, if you cannot enjoy being single how then are you going to enjoy being with another person? That is something to ponder about. Let us look at some truths about being single.
Free to do you
This must be the best part about being single. you have all the time to do everything you’ve always been putting on hold. Many Kenyan women sacrifice so much while in relationships. You find that you don’t even have time for yourself. But here you are. All to yourself. It is time to enjoy and complete yourself. Everything that you ever wanted to do, you can now do them without considering how your partner will feel.
There is a famous quote that says, “To see a rainbow, one has to pass a storm.” Isn’t it funny how when something bad happens we cannot keep off negative thoughts? It is like there is a blockage of the mind to any positivity. Quitting the relationship is an indication that already you are keeping away from negative energy.
The fact is you can be happy only if you are open to it. Remember that even in havoc, something good can sprout. Single hood gives you a chance to see the positive even in the storm. That is why it is important to embrace single hood when you can. Also, stay around positive people, through them, you will know how to appreciate things irrespective of how they come to you.
Ready to love?
Yes, the last relationship might have caused you so many tears and sleepless nights for that matter. You might have even said enough with matters of love. However, giving up is not always an option. Women are strong beings and staying single is one of the options.
What you don’t know is if you might actually be preparing yourself to love again. That is why being alone is critical so that you can search your heart. When you heal, you will attract love in ways you cannot imagine.
The decision to be single
A Kenyan woman does not choose to be single. Mostly, circumstances force her to go down that path. Many times, it is never a simple or quick decision to make. But, when most Kenyan women make that decision, there is no turning back.
There are many single and happy Kenyan women out here. All living their lives fully. We have celebrities and well-known Kenyan women who are single. The issue of being single does not stop them from doing anything. Therefore, they are still thriving and climbing the ladder of success.
To the majority of Kenyan women, being single seems like the most viable solution. This is because of what relationships have put them through. It is better to put up with single-hood than be with a partner who does not appreciate you.
Increase in single Kenyan women
It is pretty surprising how the number of single Kenyan women keeps rising by the day. Could it be the advantages of being single have dawned on them? Probably so. While society has its view on single women, that has not stopped the increasing numbers.
So, what is causing the increase in the number of single Kenyan women? Keep reading to know more.
Disappointment in relationships
When a relationship does not work, many women choose to walk out. Being in a toxic relationship is extremely draining. No one deserves such. As a woman you deserve better. For instance, some relationships can drain you such that you even lose your self esteem.
Interestingly, Kenyan women love the single life because they don’t want to be accountable. The never-ending questions of where have you been and with whom don’t sit well with most Kenyan women. That is why they choose to be single so that they can be free. Also, some men are narcissists. They believe that women cannot stay out for a long period without tagging a man alongside.
Seeking joy from within self
When in a relationship that is not working, nothing is spared, not even your self-esteem. Being single has helped Kenyan women discover themselves. They are seeking joy and peace. These two are very important to one’s health.
Ways of being single and happy as a Kenyan woman
As a single woman. You can still make yourself happy. This is because relationships should not take away your happiness or be the end of it. One of the ways of making yourself happy is going for a date. Did you know that self dates help in learning how to be happy alone? On the first date you can spend about 10 minutes but for the frequent ones you may take a longer period. That is after you have gotten used to the self dates.
Prioritizing your self-care is another way of being happy. This can be done by paying special attention to meditation, nutrition, and movement. Engaging in activities such as skin care, oral care, and massage can help in bringing some peace of mind.
Lastly, knowing your worth will not only make you happy but it will also make you have some form of fulfillment. In life, you need to ensure that your happiness does not depend on anything or anyone. The end of a relationship should not make your life incomplete.