Every lady needs to read this before hooking up abroad

To love and be loved has never been less amazing which explains why more Kenyan babes today pull every stop when hooking up abroad . With only few opportunities for work and personal advancement available in Kenya today, there’s no surprise why ladies keep looking outwards if only to find a foreign boyfriend and fly out of the country. The enduring perception that life abroad is more tolerable really pulls ladies to join dating sites and particularly target caucasian boyfriends or those Africans living abroad. 

Someone may be quick to dismiss the fact that love has become more of a tool to get something today and not much about the bliss of it. But the truth of the matter remains that whatever attracts a lady to a man on online dating sites may be more than just the traditional things such as looks, charm, a special connection and a need for a happy life afterwards. You know it just like most lovers today know that yes the fantasy man; tall, well built, handsome, muscular, eloquent and bold has some place in every woman’s heart yet for other reasons, they overlook them just to go abroad.

Kenyan Ladies  in a quick rush to date white boyfriends, men and marry them

One thing with the internet is that it almost turned around what we used to know as the usual social relationships. Maybe we’ve already forgotten how our aunties would be the match makers and link those ripe for marriage with suitors on the other side. But today, the internet and dating platforms have simply changed things.

Haven’t you read the recent headlines of a Belgian lover who sent his Kenyan girlfriend Felista Nyamathira money in millions? Or if that may have missed your attention, did you not see Akothee’s colorful wedding with a caucasian she has since christened Omosh?You may be aware of a friend, niece, auntie, sister who at the moment has a long distance relationship, married abroad or planning a marriage soon. 

No qualms that Kenyan ladies have chosen to search for and marry people abroad. If anything, home is where your heart is and if it should be abroad, so be it. But there’s an extra thing to Kenyans dating guys abroad-the incessant hope that things will be better and life more cozier when they make it to migrate abroad and join their guys. 

Several cross-border dating, marriages involving Kenyans going on nowadays

As you read this, so many Kenyan ladies have already hooked up and married abroad. Whether their lives have become better than it was in Kenya is something else but they managed to move-thanks to the magical dating sites. An amazing thing about dating a guy from overseas is that most countries accept cohabitation with a partner as enough proof of a relationship provided you can prove a few extra requirements. Also, the registrar of marriages in the Attorney General’s office has always been on standby to civilize marriages. 

It’s not first clear who really needs to read this but surely, someone spending hours on end to hook up with a foreign white guy needs a bit of it. The internet accessibility in Kenya has come with so much gift to us including making dating and meeting suitors a matter of just a click. TInder, Facebook, International cupid and other dating platforms experience so many more visits than the traditional meet and hook up situations we used to know. 

The fanciness of caucasian lovers for Kenyan ladies

So much has changed in virtually every aspect of our social lives. A young Kenyan lady today knows so much about the world that she sees nothing strange with dating someone from the rest of the world. In fact, we see many such relationships coming to the limelight each day and the couples seem undeterred by whatever others think of such marriages. Fact, it has become even stylish and a sign of being liberal minded to date caucasians. 

Previously, the closest we moved to hear of the incidents of interracial relationships especially involving caucasians was activities at the coast. Stories of beach boys popularly known as mateja having temporary relationships with visiting whites have been told. Actually some critics described it as lowkey sex tourism down there. But today, it happens deep in our families as sisters, nieces don´t mind scouting for love beyond. 

Honestly speaking, finding genuine love has become a mirage for so many Kenyan damsels. So many play boys in the city have nothing serious to make a Kenyan lady feel the security any lady would long for from a man. The result has been breakups, heartbreaks and frustrations. In a spirit of adventure and desire to explore how love plays out elsewhere, our girls go for the caucasians. 

Why go for a caucasian lover, boyfriend, husband?

The old saying goes that love is blind but not so much these days. People engaging in relationships have a particularity of what pulls them or whatever things theyŕe avoiding. Of course the end goal in any relationship may be a nagging chase for love but then other factors play out in settling in with someone.

In a money world, ladies have an eye for guys who can grease their lifestyle and make things really turn around. Nothing blows a lady off more than a man who can not only afford to fly her to an exotic destination for a birthday or buy her a couple of gifts on her special days.Nothing so wrong about being deliberate about who to love.

Here are some common reasons that pull Kenyan ladies to date wazungu, guys abroad;

  • The perception that life gets smoother, easier abroad
  • A general feeling that more opportunities lie abroad for ambitious ones to take up
  • The longing for new experiences dating from across cultures, races, religions and regions
  • An attempt to escape one’s realities like failed marriages, breakups, heatbreaks, single parenting.
  • Hoping to use it as the easiest way to get a visa, permanent residence or citizenship abroad
  • Wanting to have interracial kids what most people refer to as mulat kids
  • The different ways whites view relationships, childbearing, marriages and romance

Reality check after going abroad to join spouse, lover, boyfriend

More often than not, Kenyan ladies finding love abroad online and traveling to join lovers there give mixed tales. Some lucky ones find extremely wealthy and loving guys who treat them like the real queen they hoped for. On the other hand, the unlucky ones have to find ways to fit into the gender equality scheme of things in the western countries.

Good luck and happy ever after for those who transition to get queen-like treatment when they join lovers abroad. But the majority never gets as lucky as they quickly realize that to be a wife, woman, lover abroad doesn’t mean things will always be served at your comfort-you literally have to work your ass off, split bills, account for your income and never be a dependant at any cost. 

Of Course gender equality remains a good thing as it levels the ground for everyone to achieve their own goals. But truth be told, most Kenyan ladies have bigger expectations about moving to be with  lovers abroad than the stark reality that hits them when they start life in the new home.

Things you likely have to do as a woman abroad

  • You must be ready and willing to start working as soon as possible to contribute to the family income.
  • Your boyfriend, lover will not shoulder all the bills for longer.
  • Divorce rates out there remain so high and you better watch out not to add to the statistics.
  • Getting a proper family-life balance may be a real struggle but must somewhat find a way.
  • Having children must be planned otherwise an unplanned pregnancy, child throws things into a spin.
  • Some of the white lovers, boyfriends may from the word go say that they don’t want to have kids. Would you also like that as a young lady?
  • Interracial and trans-continental relationships, marriages come with heavy burdens of compromising and trying to accommodate the other party. 

Final takeaway

Dating, loving and marriage remain some of the contentious toics that not so many Kenyans would openly talk about. The fact that ladies date guys abroad and actually move to live with them is an open secret. But before taking a leap to explore love outside the borders, do a proper check and decide if the deal matches up.

In many instances, the treats, parties, gifts and so many niceties that ladies get from lovers while still living in Kenya could be attractive. So many may have lingering questions like “if he does all these when I’m still in Kenya, what if I joined to live with him?”

That line of thinking may turn out to be flawed as so many end up feeling that they got a better deal on a long distance relationship than when they moved only to find themselves trapped. Of course some end up choosing to separate and pursue their own life which explains the ballooning number of single Kenyan women living abroad. 

Leave a Comment